Thursday, November 25, 2010

0 years 4 months 0 weeks 7 days

My little Aus-meister,

Happy Thanksgiving my little one!

Oh, how I continue to think of writing you and never finding the time! In the end I simply end up writing longer letters farther apart, while not ideal, I still get most of my thoughts on here.

You are HUGE! I have to constantly remember to add the clause= "but he's not fat!" whenever people ask how much you weigh! You are almost 17 lbs now, and wearing mostly 6 month clothing! You little chubber! Haha! Really, you're just very stocky, long torso, long're not really very chubby at all! ADORABLE, but not chubby, though I do like to call you the 'chubster'

You amaze me daily. It's as if you wake up some mornings and just decide that today you will do something new that you didn't do 8 hours earlier! Just this morning you are holding a teether and chewing on it, no problem, wheras it seems like just a few days ago I had to hold it for you or you got frustrated. So amazing! You can sit upright for a few seconds without falling, and you LOVE being on your tummy now! You just look around and play with whatever is in front of you. Rolling over is now old news....

You adore tv...Yo Gabba Gabba never fails to give you a smile, and Blues Clues is a favorite as well. You laugh and kick when they dance...just so cute. Your teething seems to have calmed for a while, so no fevers or tears over painful gums for the time being. I'm sure it won't be long and you will go back into the phase again. Always growing!

You are getting much better at taking your bottles, especially when mommy isn't around. You like to hold them, or the hand that is feeding you. I can show you your bottle and sometimes you just reach for it and pull it into your mouth. Your dexterity is improving greatly!

Still the most easy-going, well tempered child! You just smile when I get to Grandmas to pick you up, and are so patient to nurse if that's what you want. Still mixing breastmilk and formula when mommy is at work, you seems to enjoy it a lot, though are still very accepting of formula alone when need be.

Daddy gave you a taste of sweet potatoes on our pre-Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa Brunettes on Sunday! You made THE cutest disgusted face I've ever seen!

You really enjoyed your Aunt Judy's visit this last week! She loved being around you, though it's always sad when she leaves. She brought you a ball that you simply ADORE and a stuffed doggy named Ozzy! You like him a lot too.

Well, that's all for now. You're talking to me from the living room so I'd better go. I need to give you a bath and then we will be going to Grandma and Grandpa Biggs for Thanksgiving with the whole family! I love you dearly, and thank God every day that he blessed me with such a fantastic son, who never ceases to be the light of my life. I love you unconditionally as you grow and change!

Love always,

Sunday, November 7, 2010

0 years 3 months 2 weeks 6 days

Dear ever-growing Austen,

Oh I really thought that I would write you more often when I started this. However, life has taken a sudden plunge into frantically busy days and even busier evenings. So who knew...that working full time, having a child at home, and still trying to keep a household moving smoothly would be such a task?! I kid, I think I always knew. Just maybe not so much.

You, my little one, are teething like a fiend, and so early! You are just shy of 4 months now, and a healthy and happy chunky 16 pounder! You are currently wearing 6 month clothing, and an occasional 9 month outfit. Still so long and slender though, so you always look so cute in your long-sleeved clothes because I have to roll your sleeves! ha!

Your poor teeth though. I feel so helpless, you just bite and gnaw on everything, and although you're not a fan of either the cold teething rings OR the numbing teething gel, you always seem a little happier afterwards! You look at me so upset though! And as a breastfeeding mommy, let me just say "Bad Austen! No biting!" haha! No, really you've done well. I can tell when you're really hurting and we just work with it. I still feel helpless that I can't always be there to work through it with you.

On the subject of not always being there, being back to work is getting harder for me. I thought it would get easier, but it's just gradually hurting more. I see you changing, and being a newly developed child each weekend, and that pains me more than I can even tell you. I love my job, and while I'm there I'm happy to do whatever I need to do, but deep inside I just feel so frustrated that I should be somewhere else. Home, with you, is where I know I should be. It is utterly unnatural to be separated from your children, and I still have yet to have had a weekend without some tears. When I am with you, you smile and laugh and cry, and all I can feel is how stupid it is that I am not always there when you go through your emotions. You do however still adore Grandma's house every Tuesday and Wednesday, so that is helpful. You tend to give Daddy a little more trouble but we have decided that is because when you're with Daddy you just associate it with me, and thus don't always understand. You are the easiest with me, and the most at ease with me, and I keep telling myself that it is simply awful that you cannot always be. I never truly imagined how hard it would be, and it is a thousand times harder.

Anyways, let's not dwell on the bad things! You are so healthy and happy, and that is wonderful! I tell myself often how lucky we are to have a healthy child, and wonder what it would be like if you were sick. So many people I talk to with children with health issues, or frankly, people who I talk to that simply do not value their children. Heartbreaking. You are the most important piece of my life, and I will do whatever it is that I have to do that makes it better for you.

I hate that your teeth hurt you! I hope it gets better soon! You get so frustrated with the teethers because your dexterity is not quite yet you need help holding them in your mouth. So sad! It won't be long! You are constantly changing and surprising us! You have been rolling over for weeks now, and you almost (almost!) sit up for a few seconds alone! So cute!

You are my joy. I love you immensely and treasure every moment with you. Thank you for being such a fantastic, amazing child! We love you, Austen. :) Your Aunt Judy will be here in a week or so to visit you, and I can't wait for you to spend some time with her when you do more than just eat, sleep and poop! Haha! Now you laugh and talk and kick too! Such a sweet little man!

Love Always,