Friday, October 22, 2010

0 years 3 months 0 weeks 4 days

Dear Austen,

Oh my dear son, you are doing so well! You are such a wonderful, easy-going child!
You are adapting very well to mommy going back to work, and you are dealing so well with your new schedule. You simply ADORE Grandma’s house! Every Tuesday and Wednesday you wake up with Mommy and have breakfast (mommy-milk!) and then watch some Shaun the Sheep while Mommy wakes up and has coffee. Then you have a diaper change and wait for Mommy to shower before we leave for Grandma’s. You always wake up when we get there and smile! You look around and realize where you are, and just perk right up! I’m beginning to think you enjoy Grandma’s house more than your own home! Haha!
We’ve figured a wonderful arrangement of mixing formula and breastmilk in your bottles and you eat so much better without me. When you’re with me I still give you only formula since I am, after all, the source of the breastmilk!
Daddy is still adjusting and working to find a ‘schedule’ when he is with you, Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays. Sometimes you have a great day with him, other days you just fuss and miss Mommy. One day I drove home on lunch to calm you down, feed you, and put you to sleep. But overall, you are dealing very well. Daddy is learning all your quirks and preferences, and you are getting used to the irregularities of your schedule.
Today you are home with Daddy since it's Friday, and I don’t think he is leaving so I’m going to run home to see you on lunch. I’m sure you’re doing well, but I miss you! You've been sleeping SO much and eating so much lately, I imagine you're sleeping away without a care in the world! Three month growth-spurt!!

Love always,

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

0 years 2 months 2 weeks 4 days

Dear Austen,

Well, you had your two month shots! You did surprisingly well. Your reflex was to go to sleep, which you did...and unfortunately had a rude awakening of one needle in each leg! Owch! It was heartbreaking, but you were awesome about it! Now only a few more months and we get to do it again!.....

In less encouraging news, mommy is back to work. I hate it. You hate it. We officially hate mommy not being home with you. The end. But...we do what we do for a reason. Mommy knows she has to work, even though it isn't what we want to do.
The first day you stayed home with daddy, and it went okay, though you refused to eat much of the day, and also didn't want to sleep. As soon as I got home, you cried a little and then proceeded to nurse for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT!!!! wow. You missed me, it was obvious!
Yesterday you spent your first day and Grandma and Grandpa Brunette's. Since you were so tired from Monday, you slept all morning! According to Grandma, you did exceptionally well all day, lots of smiles and happiness, except for feeding time. We assume this is because you realize you're hungry, and that you want to breastfeed. I got to Grandma's at 5:30pm to pick yo0u up after work, and you smiled at me, I picked you up, you smiled again, then you smelled me.
Instant tears....inconsolable, freaking-out tears for over ten minutes. It was AWFUL! You broke mommy's heart! You wouldn't even look at me, just kept panicing and grabbing my clothes and screaming. You refused to breastfeed, and only slightly calmed when I went into the bathroom where you could see 'us' in the mirror. But then you freaked out again....
When you finally did calm down, you nursed for about 20 minutes and fell asleep. When you woke up again, I was forgiven! You smiled and were perfectly happy. You didn't like being put back into your carseat, but you were fine. We went home and the evening went better than Monday, you nursed a little, drank 2oz of formula, smiled and were happy. :)

We shall see how today weren't too happy to be put into your carseat again this morning, but you were pretty smiley at Grandma's before I left. I hope, though am prepared for it, that you don't have a fit tonight. But it's still early and you will get used to this.
It isn't easy for me either. I do okay while I'm away from you, but your reaction to it is breaking my heart. I have only cried briefly, but I most certainly miss you more than I even believed possible. I hope that someday this will all be over. Until then, know that I love you and miss you every second that we are apart.

Love you, child,