Dear Austen,
Well, you had your two month shots! You did surprisingly well. Your reflex was to go to sleep, which you did...and unfortunately had a rude awakening of one needle in each leg! Owch! It was heartbreaking, but you were awesome about it! Now only a few more months and we get to do it again!.....
In less encouraging news, mommy is back to work. I hate it. You hate it. We officially hate mommy not being home with you. The end. But...we do what we do for a reason. Mommy knows she has to work, even though it isn't what we want to do.
The first day you stayed home with daddy, and it went okay, though you refused to eat much of the day, and also didn't want to sleep. As soon as I got home, you cried a little and then proceeded to nurse for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT!!!! wow. You missed me, it was obvious!
Yesterday you spent your first day and Grandma and Grandpa Brunette's. Since you were so tired from Monday, you slept all morning! According to Grandma, you did exceptionally well all day, lots of smiles and happiness, except for feeding time. We assume this is because you realize you're hungry, and that you want to breastfeed. I got to Grandma's at 5:30pm to pick yo0u up after work, and you smiled at me, I picked you up, you smiled again, then you smelled me.
Instant tears....inconsolable, freaking-out tears for over ten minutes. It was AWFUL! You broke mommy's heart! You wouldn't even look at me, just kept panicing and grabbing my clothes and screaming. You refused to breastfeed, and only slightly calmed when I went into the bathroom where you could see 'us' in the mirror. But then you freaked out again....
When you finally did calm down, you nursed for about 20 minutes and fell asleep. When you woke up again, I was forgiven! You smiled and were perfectly happy. You didn't like being put back into your carseat, but you were fine. We went home and the evening went better than Monday, you nursed a little, drank 2oz of formula, smiled and were happy. :)
We shall see how today goes.....you weren't too happy to be put into your carseat again this morning, but you were pretty smiley at Grandma's before I left. I hope, though am prepared for it, that you don't have a fit tonight. But it's still early and you will get used to this.
It isn't easy for me either. I do okay while I'm away from you, but your reaction to it is breaking my heart. I have only cried briefly, but I most certainly miss you more than I even believed possible. I hope that someday this will all be over. Until then, know that I love you and miss you every second that we are apart.
Love you, child,
Mommy
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